It had been weeks since I heard from Cartier or reached out to him. It was just so much going on, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready or even wanted to open that door. My gut was telling me that everything wasn’t what it seemed, and I had to think about my babies. I took a deep breath and made a call. “Hey Booskie.” Coco’s voice put a smile on my face. “Girl, I was just about to call you. Mama has COVID-19 and I’m about to fly home.” I had initially called her to talk about my drama. But clearly my bestie was going through her own family crisis.
“Omg. You need me to pick you up from the airport?”
“No, I rented a car so I could go straight to the hospital.” I felt so bad because I must have been under a rock not to know that my bestie’s mom was in the hospital fighting for her life. “But I would love to crash at your place. My sister and her 50-11 kids are at my mom’s. Plus, I don’t trust hotels right now.” I giggled because I had five kids, but her sister had seven working on number eight.
“You already know it. I’ll fix up the pool house for you.” When I said pool house it trigged something in me. All of a sudden, I started thinking about Cartier. My emotions were all over the place. And all I could think was, Damn, how could he do this to me?
“So, I’ll call you when I’m on my way to your house.” I had zoned out for a minute. “I’ll grab dinner from Jubilee’s as a treat for letting me stay.” I knew it was more of a treat for her because that was her favorite place. We talked a few more minutes before she promised to call me back on her way to the airport.
Since my initial call to Coco didn’t pan out the way I wanted, I decided to call the other person that I knew could help me through this. “You’ve reached Michaela Avery. I apologize for not being able to take your call right now. Please, leave your name, number, and a brief message. And, I will get back to you as quickly as possible.” It seemed as if everyone I was turning to was unavailable. I was about to leave a message but decided against it and hung up.
A few seconds later my phone rang, and it was Michaela. Michaela is an old college friend and one of the best attorneys around. “Hello.” The fact she was calling me back, was a good sign.
“Hey Girl.” She sounded so chipper and unaware of the bomb I was about to drop in her lap. “I apologize I was on a call and didn’t get to you in time.” Calling Michaela was the only option I had with CoCo worrying about her Mom, but I needed someone to talk to. And, getting legal counsel was the best option at this point. Before, I told one of my closest confidants what I wanted, I let her know that this was a legal consult. And, her monthly detainer had already been deposited. The fact she was now living in Atlanta, was a bomber for me. But I learned a long time ago to roll with the punches.
I didn’t waste any time and just ripped out the band-aid. “Cartier is alive.” The silence on the other end of the phone, let me know I had thrown her for a loop. “Micki did you hear me?”
“I heard you loud and clear. But I’m still not processing it.” She let out a long sigh, “ Do what?”
“He’s alive.” I lowered my voice because I heard Safiya and Sagourni running down the stairs. “He was here a few weeks ago.” At that moment she instructed me to stop talking and stated she would be home for the weekend. “Alright, I’ll see you Saturday at 10. Thank you so much.”
“You’re more than welcome,” she replied before ending the call.
I felt a little better about the situation, but not much. Instead of focusing on Cartier, I prepared the girls breakfast and checked on Coco. Two hours later, I received a surprise visitor. Logan Boxer, one of Cartier’s military buddies. I vaguely remembered him from the funeral. Not knowing why, he was here, I was surprised when he told me that he had something to help us through the pandemic. “If you need anything else just let me know,” he said before heading back to his car. And, just like that he was gone.
I must have stared at that box for an hour before I drug it into my office and opened it. And, just like he said it was full of supplies for us. Toilet tissue. Paper towels. Lysol spray. Disinfectant wipes. Hand sanitizer. Clorox. Laundry detergent. I pulled everything out when I noticed something at the very bottom, an envelope filled with three stacks of $100 bills and a note, Roe I’m coming home. The note was in Cartier’s handwriting.
My mind was racing. I went in my office to grab the burner phone out the desk. It was gone. I dumped everything out the drawer, nothing. I got down on my hands and knees looking under the sofa. Under the bookcase. Behind the sofa. In the trash. In the bathroom. It was nowhere. I started to panic because I was afraid, I had dropped in the house and one of the girls found it. I headed out to the guest house to see if I had left it out there. When I opened the door, I was surprised to see Sahara. She was curled up on the sofa with the phone. The biggest smile was on her face. When she realized I had walked in she jumped up, “Mommy.” She was just as surprised as to see me as I was to see her.
“What you are doing, Baby?” I didn’t want to sound as if I was chastising her, but I wanted to make sure she wasn’t talking to her Daddy. My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to jump right out my chest.
“I was in your office using the printer when, I heard the phone ringing in your drawer.” The smile she had when I walked in was gone. “Plus, I’ve never used a flip phone so I thought it would be fun to call my friends.” Her using the phone was completely innocent. For a minute she made me feel old because my baby had no idea what a flip phone was. I was just relieved she wasn’t talking to her Daddy. “Kami, I’ll call you back,” she said before ending the call with her bestie and handing me the phone.
The fact that I had the phone back in my possession took a huge weight off my shoulders. We were heading back in the house when the phone started ringing. Cartier. I sent Sahara in the house to make sure Safiya and Sagourni hadn’t destroyed the kitchen. I sat down by the pool and took a deep breath. “Hello.”
“Hey Baby.” Hearing his voice still was shocking every time he called. “How are you doing?”
“Sahara found the phone,” I snapped. I was mad at him, knowing it was my fault that I didn’t make sure the phone was more secure.
“She did?”
“Yeah. We have to be more careful. No, I have to be more careful.” My heart was still beating so fast. I don’t know what I would’ve done if she would have called him and he picked up.
“We both do. Did you get the package?”
“I did. Thank you.” The case of supplies was welcoming, and the money. We weren’t hurting, but I wasn’t sure when I would be going back to work. I had designs on hold until after the pandemic. “How are you doing?”
“Damn good. That’s why I called.” He was explaining that he had a plan to come home when I stopped him. After what he told me, I wasn’t sure that it was going to go as smooth as he was thinking. I didn’t want him to come back in our lives and then leave because he was going to be arrested. Further traumatizing the girls. And, me.
“I told Michaela.”
“Avery?”
“Yes.”
“Good. She’s a beast in the courtroom. If anything goes down, I know she will have our backs.”
“Do you hear yourself?”
“I do. I’m coming home. I love you Roe.” Tears started to well in my eyes.
“Hey girl.” Coco had arrived. “I need to change my life because it’s too hot out here. And, it’s no way I’ll survive in hell,” she laughed.
“That’s CoCo. I’ll call you back tonight,” he said before ending the call. I slid the phone in my pocket hoping Coco didn’t see it.
“Hey girl. How’s your mom?”
“I don’t know. I went to the hospital, but they wouldn’t let me in. They gave me the number to the nurses’ station. They said, they are going to put her on her stomach to give her lungs a break.” Listening to her to talk about Ms. Vera like that broke my heart. When Coco and I became roommates, she promised my mom that she would look after me and I was always welcome at her home. And, she kept her word. That’s why I felt guilty that I was so caught up in my life, that I hadn’t checked on her.
“You need anything?”
“A glass,” she said as she raised the bottle of wine she had in her hand.
“I can handle that.”
As we were heading in the house, she tapped me on the shoulder, “And, then you can tell me what you and my brother-in-law were talking about.” I just nodded because I didn’t know why I thought I was hiding something from her.
After we finished the bottle of wine, I was more confused than ever. I made it clear that I wasn’t sure about Cartier coming back into our lives because I was afraid of him leaving again. Coco looked me in the eyes, “Just go with the flow. You have been given another chance with the love of your life. Forget about all the time you lost and focus on all the time have left. And, don’t think about the what ifs.” I was surprised by her response. I guess dealing with COVID-19 was making her see life in a whole another light. And, I understood that.
Later that night, I was on pins and needles waiting for Cartier to call me back. After waiting all day, he finally called around midnight. All I could think about was what Coco said earlier about just going with the flow. She was right. Life was way too short, and if I had the opportunity to give my girls a moment of happiness, I was going to give it to them.
“Call me when you meet with Michaela. I think I have a way that all of this will blow over.” He said the money was for me to pay any legal fees if it came to that, but since I had already contacted Michaela, the ball was rolling. “Roe, I love you with everything in me. I always have. You hear me?”
“I do. I love you too.”
“Did you take the test?” I had forgotten all about the pregnancy test. It was negative anyway. When I told him, he sounded disappointed. I was too. The possibility of another baby had me excited. And, hopeful that I would have yet another piece of him.
We said our usual good-byes, before ending the call. I was on cloud nine until, I heard my bedroom door open. It was Sahara. She had this look on her face. A horrific look. “Mommy were you talking to Daddy?”
